i can

im happy being alone.

no im not saying im lonely or theres no one there for me because thats not the truth. im happy when im alone. like i feel that no ones there at that moment. but i find happiness there.

in the silence i can sing.
in the crowd i can stand out.
in the mess i am pure.
in the darkness he gives me light.

my god keeps me company. in him i am happy.

happy enough to be alone with him.

really

so sometimes i just straight up hate when theres a lack of communication.

sometimes its really just plain rude when theres something to be said and when you dont and blame me for not knowing, well have a problem.

im so tired of this. not much more can be handled.

its time for change!

numb

ever been so content that youre a little numb to whats going on around?

ever since some big things took place ive been overall...happy...its a weird feeling since ive been stressed and upset for a really long time. but i got help. and now i can live with it. the expectations just became surprises if they came through rather than heartbreaks if they didnt.

ive gotten passed so many things and obstacles. ive learned to go through things rather than skirt around them. the longer i would hestitate and hold off the confrontation the bigger the storm got.

i wanna suggest a book to anyone that is willing to read it. it tells a story of storms and hurt. The Christmas Sweater is the name. its a great book. i learned a lot from it. anyone can borrow my copy if needed.

i hope this time of being content and happy lasts cause i LOVE it!!